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While none of these apps call themselves games, it doesn't take much effort to realize that that is exactly what they are.Video games, if you will, where you become the player, and everyone else is the game.This is why after 6 first dates in 5 days, I not once found myself wanting a second date. I Am Pickier Online Than In Real Life Having someone be presented essentially as a two-dimensional option, rather than a real life opportunity makes them feel much more disposable.I know personally, I looked at everything: from what you said on your profile, to how you said it, to what pictures you picked to best represent you with not just a little bit of judgment, but a lot.However, the problem arises when you finally do get excited, but continue to keep swiping because why not? No One Was Ever Who I Thought They Were As you make matches, swipe past people and possibly converse you start to build an idea of who the person is on the other side of the phone.You create an ideal, and all of a sudden every little nuance becomes a bigger complexity to who that person is, and how they operate. He either starts creeping real hard, says something that throws everything off, disappears or just never decides to meet up.I was holding myself back, I was playing up certain parts of myself, and playing down other characteristics, all so I could be more "desirable." I became who I thought I was supposed to be, not who I was.I acted more way casual, and less emotional than I really am.
I filtered myself in basically every way, and took what makes me uniquely special out of the equation, so I could be more "marketable." That isn't sexy, romantic or interesting.
However, after partaking in my own dating experiment, during which I went on one date every night for a week, and two dates on Friday, I finally reached my ultimate conclusion. I want to preface that for everything I say, I know there are a ton of people who will disagree, and have the relationships to prove it, but as I ventured into and out of the virtual dating sphere I found out a lot about myself.
Additionally, I know my experiment might sound extreme, but I needed something extreme to happen for me to really give it up once and for all. I Was Bored If you've ever been on any of these apps, gay or straight, you know that most of your hunting, swiping and searching is done when you are bored.
There are rules, directions and even moments asking if you'd like to chat, or "keep playing." They say don't hate the player, hate the game, and that is exactly what ended up happening for me.
I hated the game and playing only made me like myself less and less. I Wasn't Honoring My Truth Going off the idea that these things are a game with rules, I quickly found myself changing who I was to best "win" at the game.